A Priest in Doubt

I have whispered prayers to you

And you have chosen not to do

As I have asked


I have called for you on my knees

Done all I was told to keep you pleased

Still you remain masked


I have forgone sex and normality

All to keep your company

And so remain alone


I have confessed my heart empty,

Looked for you everywhere you could be

And still see no throne


I have preached of your great light,

Knowing only the dark of night

In my very soul


I have been laughed at in your stead,

Defending you for we are wed

And paid the toll


I have sought you every place

But the one I fear to face,

Knowing you’ll be there


For if I look within to see

Then all I ask will fall to me

And be more than I can bear


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Troydon Wainwright is a philosopher and Reiki Master based in Cape Town. Born with mild cerebral palsy and dyslexia, Toydon learnt to write as a way to overcome the barriers his dyslexia placed in front of him. “I wrote my way out of dyslexia,” said Troydon, “or at least to the point where reading and writing aren’t a problem anymore.” During the day he works as an educational facilitator (someone who helps special needs students cope academically and become more independent). At night he dedicates his time to writing. He has won a Nova award for his short story, The Sangoma’s Storm, and been a feature poet at the Off the Wall poetry readings in Cape Town and at Cape Town Central Library. Three of his poems were also included in the anthology Africa’s Best New Poets. He has also been published in the South African Literary journal, New Contrast. One of his Facebook posts, in which he took a stand against racism, has gone viral (http://www.troydonwainwright.com/when-love-went-viral/).

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